Growing Up And New Discoveries!

I grew up with one of my male cousins.
His name…Bobo.
Bobo and I were both six years of age and well, the maid usually showered us together.
One day, I got into a fight with my neighbour, 8 years old Sandra. While she called me names like ‘monkey’, ‘lion’ and ‘vulture’, I had just one line for her.
“Your navel is bigger than Bobo’s peepee.”
Though my parents made me pay dearly for that statement, Bobo little balls I saw was just THE PEEPEE to me.

Weeks after that incident, I sat in the large garden behind my house, challenging my uncle to a fine game of ludo.
He wore nothing but an orange boxers and he sat carelessly.
Suddenly, our dice dropped on the floor.
As I bent to pick it up, that was when I saw it from one corner of his flare boxers.
A one eyed snake staring at me.
IYAMA!!!
My tiny heart froze with fear.
”Uncle, I don’t want to play this ludo anymore”
I ran back inside leaving his mouth agape.
That night, the queen could not sleep.
 That1997chick Bisola needed to satisfy her curiosity.
I needed to know the similarities and differences between bobo and uncle’s own.
Morning came and I kept tabs on uncle.
A wall adjoined our narrow toilet and bathroom.
He moved into the bathroom, I slid into the toilet.
Three minutes later, I began climbing…
At the top of the wall, I got my reward.
I saw it all.
The balls, the pole and the thick forest.
”JESUS CHRIST”
I held myself from screaming that name loud.
What I saw was nothing but THE PENIS
Years later, I saw a porn movie. The wild blonde girls were screaming ‘I wanna ride that cock’. I went to my window and peeped at our innocent christmas cock tied to a stake.
Nothing in the cock’s body bore any resemblance to what I saw in the movie. Or is it called cock because both of them rise in the morning?
Either ways, I came to the conclusion whenever I travel to the land of obodo oyinbo or if I ever find myself dating a white guy, I’ll call it THE COCK.
I grew older and I met one Igbo boy. We spent our nights making MTN night calls. One particular night, the sound of his breathing was almost disrupting my network.
He told me his body is just doing him ‘somehow’.
“How?” I asked in concern.
“My prick is hard jor” he replied.
THE PRICK, it sure had a new but…very ugly name.
I was flipping through the pages of a Vanguard Newspaper when I came across a column on men’s health.
A man in his early 50′s had a small complaint.
”His wife has refused to suck his balls.”
THE BALLS?? Is that what you are meant to call it once you approach 50?
Recently, I was caught up in the buzz of social networks. When I joined twitter, I saw things like #teambigdick in people’s bio.
I saw tweets like ‘me be skinny guy but my dick long’.
In every fifteen tweets I scrolled past, the word ‘dick’ appeared at least once.
And then I had a one minute silence for my neighbour’s new born bearing the name Dick.
I have long accepted on social networks, they call it THE DICK.
Who came up with these names and what name should I be expecting?


haaaaaa! dont tell my mama say na me talk am ooo!!
lol wetinwenogohear!